I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Month

June 2013

penice:

hungarian:

sleeping naked is very dangerous bc if someone breaks into your house at night it would be very embarrassing to fight him off while naked

image

Jun 14, 201375,283 notes
Play
Jun 14, 201340,789 notes
#important #a lot of white privilege posts paint a picture of thoroughly ignorant white people thou so this is kind of refreshing #though* but I'm not going back and changing it
  • red light: stop
  • yellow light: proceed with caution
  • green light: extend hand longingly and dream of the past
Jun 14, 20131,152 notes
  • Albus: Dad, I’m…gay.
  • Harry: Albus Severus Potter. You were named after two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was gay and he was the wisest man I’ve ever known.
  • Albus: Dad, you say this every time I tell you something. Stop. Just stop.
  • ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
  • Albus: Dad, would you mind buying some conditioner? I think we’re out.
  • Harry: Albus Severus Potter. You were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them never used conditioner and he was probably the greasiest man I ever knew.
  • Albus: Dad, this response is really getting old.
  • Harry: TWO HEADMASTERS.
  • Albus: Yes, I get it, two hea—
  • Harry: BRAVEST AND WISEST MEN.
  • Albus: Da—
  • Harry: THAT I EVER KNEW, BRAVEST AND WISEST, TWO OF THEM.
Jun 14, 201394,971 notes
#best
“‎’Slut’ is attacking women for their right to say yes. ‘Friend Zone’ is attacking women for their right to say no.” —And “bitch” is attacking women for their right to call you out on it (via perfect)
Jun 14, 2013185,412 notes
Jun 14, 20137,834 notes
“A micropenis
Teaching a robot to love
Multiple stab wounds”
—my haiku from Cards Against Humanity tonight
Jun 14, 20131 note
#best and worst game ever

rabioheab:

ladies call me bill clinton because i do not have sexual relations with them

Jun 13, 20131,823 notes
#actually laughing
Play
Jun 13, 201399,522 notes
Jun 12, 201371,421 notes
#always reblog
Jun 12, 2013355 notes
#the breakfast club
Dream

oh wow guess who spent a whole day off of tumblr that’s me
three wishes I have.

ANSWERING QUESTIONS IS SO STRESSFUL MAN I have a lot of thoughts and I can’t make good answers and out of them okay so
In like a genie-of-the-lamp situation, telekinesis would definitely be a thing. and then a limitless supply of money, and then for people to somehow remain ignorant of my limitless supply of money so I could have real friends and stuff 

Jun 12, 2013
“When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar,” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. “My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.”

It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions? How often had I sped past them as I learned of male achievement and men’s place in the history books? Then I read Rosalind Miles’s book “The Women’s History of the World” (recently republished as “Who Cooked the Last Supper?”) and I knew I needed to look again. History is full of fabulous females who have been systematically ignored, forgotten or simply written out of the records. They’re not all saints, they’re not all geniuses, but they do deserve remembering.”
—Sandi Toksvig, ‘Top 10 unsung heroines’  (via wasarahbi)
Jun 12, 201317,942 notes
#feminism #I read the first paragraph to stamps and he chuckled and then was like #I will say that 28 days is also the lunar cycle #stamps isn't anti-feminist #he's just a cynic

naughtyrobotics:

i h8 it when folks call me cute because i never know if its cute like baby bird or cute like u wanna frickle frackle 

Jun 12, 201343,285 notes
#frickle frackle
Jun 12, 201348,939 notes
#actually dead
Jun 12, 201324,615 notes
I Must Confess in Threes
  • Blab: Three secrets I'm keeping.
  • Mwah: Three people I'd like to kiss.
  • Similar: Three members of the same sex I find attractive.
  • Different: Three members of the opposite sex I find attractive
  • Pastime: Three hobbies I have that I would be embarrassed to know someone discovered.
  • Doing: Three habits that I have.
  • Psst: Three things that I've always wanted to tell you.
  • Shh: Three things I wouldn't wan't my parents to know
  • Dream: Three wishes I have.
  • Want: Three things I would do to you if we were alone.
Jun 11, 2013153,680 notes
#actually please? #friends?
Jun 11, 201369,598 notes

drunklydias:

casual reminder that just because your idea of a good time is curling up with a book and hers is doing tequila shots does not make you a better person than her (◡‿◡✿)

Jun 11, 201333,264 notes

lokimenow:

r3nly:

“legally blonde? you mean that movie about the dumb girl?”

that dumb girl

who studies really hard

and gets into harvard law school

and does really well in all of her classes

and gets a coveted internship

and impresses the toughest professor

and graduates top of her class

all while struggling against prejudice and preconceived notions about her intelligence and abilities

yeah

that dumb girl

the legally blonde fandom will not tolerate your bullshit master wayne

Jun 10, 201336,386 notes

what do you mean “fucker” isn’t a term of endearment

Jun 10, 201356,079 notes

rachelkiley:

there’s a fine line between asking “why?” enough to make sure you’re making the right choices and asking it so many times that you hit a dead end and remember that literally everything is pointless

Jun 9, 201318 notes
Jun 8, 201356,165 notes

clype:

“Girls are so annoying ugh. I get on way better with boys lol”

Probably cos you have so much in common with them

like misogyny

Jun 7, 201312,364 notes
Jun 7, 201365,955 notes
Jun 7, 201348,303 notes
Jun 7, 2013179,390 notes
#je t'adore paola
Jun 7, 201381,488 notes
#summer bucket list
YAY FOR MATH MAJORS ON TUMBLR <3~ uh, how many of us are on here? XD and i dont think she remembers me, but we were in kendall orchestra together before a long time ago (i just have a penchant of long term memory for names and faces :P)

including you and me, I know of three (the other one’s Alisha!) gotcha, she doesn’t ahah but I know how the slightly-creepy-good-memory thing goes so.

Jun 5, 2013
Play
Jun 5, 2013234,651 notes
Jun 4, 2013230,747 notes
Jun 4, 2013130,441 notes

malijuanastyles:

malijuanastyles:

I think it’s lovely how you can sit in a classroom and visualize having sex with someone and nobody will notice at all

do you know how many angry boys have messaged me about boners because of this post

Jun 4, 2013196,447 notes
Jun 4, 201399,934 notes
Driving Tip #64

thefatpatriciarepublic:

When the light turns yellow, the appropriate course of action is to step on the gas after shouting “yolo.”

If the light turns red before you get there, then you didn’t yolo hard enough.

Jun 4, 20137 notes
Jun 4, 2013595 notes
#favorite cosplay
Jun 4, 201381,953 notes

sweaterpawz:

instead of telling girls they look better without makeup..why don’t you tell them they look good either way because it’s true you schmuck 

Jun 4, 20132,484 notes
#because makeup: we work hard on that shit

allkindsofawkward:

Drinking tea whilst wearing glasses is annoying

Jun 3, 201316 notes
Jun 3, 20131,572 notes
#why am i laughing
46

46. how can I win your heart?

I am not a prize to be won

though you specifically happen to already own my heart so that’s pretty convenient for you isn’t it 

Jun 3, 2013

xmasqueradex:

birds-bones:

Hey! Did you know:

  • sex is okay
  • so is masturbation
  • watching porn won’t make you impure
  • one night stands are okay too
  • having sex with multiple people doesn’t make you a slut
  • even 3-somes or group sex and orgies are a-okay
  • sex with the same gender is alright
  • not having sex doesn’t make you a prude
  • your body your choice no matter your gender
  • shaming other people for who they have sex with, how much they have sex, and even their kinks make you NOT okay!

Q

Jun 3, 2013159,622 notes
Jun 3, 201355,436 notes
#i like this a lot
Jun 3, 2013218,779 notes
#actually laughing
  • 1.Kissed a girl?
  • 2.Kissed a boy?
  • 3.Had sex in public?
  • 4.What’s your religion?
  • 5.What does your URL mean?
  • 6.Reason you joined tumblr?
  • 7.Do you have any nicknames?
  • 8.Do you like bubble bath?
  • 9.Kissed in the rain?
  • 10.Dyed your hair?
  • 11.Soup or salad?
  • 12.Vegetable or meat?
  • 13.Go out drinking?
  • 14.Smoke cigarettes?
  • 15.Smoke weed?
  • 16.Do any hard drugs?
  • 17.Have you had sex today?
  • 18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
  • 19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
  • 20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
  • 21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game?
  • 22.Tried to commit suicide?
  • 23.The last time you felt broken?
  • 24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
  • 25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
  • 26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair?
  • 27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl?
  • 28.Do you sing in the shower?
  • 29.Do you dance in the car?
  • 30.Where were you yesterday?
  • 31.Ever used a bow and arrow?
  • 32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
  • 33.Do you think musicals are cheesy?
  • 34.Is Christmas stressful?
  • 35.Favorite type of fruit pie?
  • 36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
  • 37.Do you believe in ghosts?
  • 38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
  • 39.Take a vitamin daily?
  • 40.Wear slippers?
  • 41.Wear a bath robe?
  • 42.What do you wear to bed?
  • 43.Do you want to get married?
  • 44.Can you curl your tongue?
  • Relationship preference:
  • 45.How many relationships have you had?
  • 46.How can I win your heart?
  • 47.what makes a great relationship?
  • 48.Shy OR open?
  • 50.Religious OR non-religious?
  • 51.Caring OR non-restricting of you?
  • 52.Straight edge OR non-straight edge?
  • 53.Piercings OR no piercings?
  • 54.Tattoos OR no tattoos?
  • 55.Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?
Jun 3, 201338,756 notes
#pretty standard #guys I really like questions

if radioactive by imagine dragons doesn’t make you wanna beat up zombies don’t look at me

Jun 3, 201350,726 notes
Jun 3, 2013140,755 notes
#summer bucket list
LoL one more thing, is that Sarah behind you in your propic?

yes it is! how do you know sarah? she’s one of my favorite human beings

Jun 2, 20131 note
now that I rechecked at the master list, it does seem that most of y'all are commies lol~ and sorry to disappoint but that was most likely linh mai, the person I commented after (bc after some Fb stalking I found I was the only Jess in math majors) BUT ESSOKIES, we can still be good friends nonetheless xD

oh wow yeah you are very right, I guess I associated you with the post because you commented and then you stayed active in the group and she didn’t so yeah (not bad on her, I’m not exactly active on facebook either) HEY YEAH WE WILL THOUGH woo for math majors on tumblr~

Jun 2, 2013
hmm ima be a creeper, but i saw this on tumblr (obviously LOL). and I'm Jess/Jessie (whichever), math major, langdale hall. iunno if you would be kind enough to put my name on that master list so i can be one of you guys :'D

WOO math majors on tumblr, I can dig it. so I haven’t been answering these because its sorta awkward to post when people send me their info buuuut if you’re the same Jessie who posted on fb about math major/visual arts or jazz minor AND you’re a tumblr kid I have a feeling we will be good friends indeed :)

Jun 2, 2013
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